Excerpt from Dating Daddy: Realizing God as Father through Daddy Issues and Bad Romance by Shavonne Holton. Used with permission by the author.
"Dad’s instructions were based on his random thoughts. He’d say (and I’m censoring), “Brothers ain’t it” on a whim! If “that’s the type of dumb stuff men do” was used to teach me about the silly things men did, “brothers ain’t it” was a more serious assertion, teaching me about the things men did that hurt the women they claim they love. For instance, if a man broke his lady’s heart through infidelity or lying, Dad would go into a “brothers ain’t it” rant. The irony in all of this is that he may have exhibited some of the same behaviors he now disapproved of. Even still, I developed respect for him as I could see a moral standard underpinning his words, and I felt that this summer served as redemption for the relationship we did not cultivate earlier.
Most of the time his “brothers ain’t it” talks occurred on days I had a date planned. You’d have expected me to cancel my plans for the evening and for the rest of my life after hearing him put down every man on the planet like that. I did not. To his credit, my dad helped me see guys’ intentions more clearly and I was better able to filter some of the mischievous men who approached me throughout that summer. But it did not keep me from dating.
What’s more, my dad reaffirmed me regularly. Every day he told me how I was a beautiful young lady and that I could have any man I wanted. Dad would then detail all the qualities that made me appealing and a great catch. He seemed to think highly of me, although he knew little about me—and I believed him."
(@vonne_kaye) is an author and the blog curator for All Things Inspiration. She enjoys traveling, fitness, movies and the arts. Pictured here atop the Mutianyu path of the Great Wall of China (May 22, 2017).