People-Watching

This is a different type of post.  It talks about essentially, being a creeper...

I am a certified creeper.  I like to people watch.  I will sit in a public area and watch everyone else.  Why?  Surprisingly, it is relaxing.  I can sit with a cup of tea in my hand and narrate everyone else’s lives.  There are times when I am going through a lot and it feels like no one understands.  Watching other people and watching them interact with their surroundings, makes me feel less alone in my struggle.  I can make two people having a conversation over cups of coffee talk about having jobs they hate and bonding over their experiences in their crappy jobs.  I can make a group of friends who are laughing and having a good time talk about bonding over passing their finals despite all odds stacked against them.

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This sounds weird, I know, but hear me out.  Have you ever looked at someone who looked like they were on the verge of tears and said Man, I get it.  I feel you.  You are doing the same thing I am.  You are assuming that person is having a bad day, week, or month when it could be just the way they look.  You are empathizing with a person you don’t even know and who may not be going through anything at all.  I do the same thing.  It makes me reflect deeper on why I feel like I am in the slump I’m in.  It helps me come up with solutions for my own issues, by projecting my issues onto other people.  I can take “me” out of the equation and look at the situation pushed onto someone else.  Do they feel the way I feel?  Am I overreacting?  Does my boss actually hate me or are they generally assholes?  Am I feeling like this because of my own emotions?  What I call it is “Self-Empathy” because often, I use my own experiences, good and bad, and look at them, analyze them, make solutions for them, while they are placed on someone else.

It is hard to follow, I get it.  All I’m doing is making myself feel okay by objectively, rather than subjectively, viewing my own issues.  I just use other people to do it…but sometimes I am caught staring hard and someone and must leave the coffee shop due to embarrassment.  Those are the risks I am willing to take in order to be less overanxious, and mentally healthy…again...

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Aunya DeAnn

is a counselor by day and a blogger by night. Aunya' is the sole author of her blog, Black Tea Dispensary. She enjoys playing ukulele and guitar, painting and drawing, and going to the gym.